Why Young Men Are Not Getting Married
February 19, 2026 · Frisian News
Marriage rates among men under 35 have collapsed across Europe and North America, driven by economic instability, housing costs, and shifting attitudes toward commitment. Young men cite financial pressure and relationship skepticism as primary reasons for avoiding marriage.
At a village pub in rural Somerset, three men in their late twenties sit nursing pints and discussing their mates. None of them are married. None plan to marry soon. "The math doesn't work," says the oldest, gesturing vaguely at the rent bills stacked on his phone. Statistics back his gut feeling. In 1990, roughly 70 percent of British men aged 25 to 34 were married or in committed partnerships. Today, that figure sits at 40 percent and falling. Similar collapses hit Germany, the Netherlands, and the United States with brutal consistency.
The reasons cluster around three realities. First, housing costs have exploded while wages stagnated. A young couple in London needs two incomes just to rent a decent flat, leaving little energy or resources for the commitment of marriage. Second, the economic precarity hits men harder in ways that matter for relationships. Men still typically earn more than their partners, and when they earn less, or face job instability, they often withdraw from the marriage market entirely. A man without financial stability feels he has nothing to offer. Third, legal and cultural forces have shifted the burden onto men. Divorce courts still favor women in custody and asset division, and men know it. The risk calculation has changed.
But there is more to this than money. Young men report genuine skepticism about whether marriage works at all. They have watched their parents' divorces, scrolled through social media's curated disasters, and absorbed the message that marriage is a gamble they will likely lose. Online spaces have amplified this skepticism into a full ideology, with some men now openly hostile to the idea of long-term partnership. This cultural shift matters as much as economics. A man earning 50,000 pounds a year might still marry if he believed marriage would work. He doesn't believe that. He stays single.
Women, for their part, have gained freedom and financial independence that make marriage optional rather than necessary. This is not a bad thing. But it means the incentives have flipped entirely. Women no longer need marriage to survive. Men increasingly feel they have too much to lose. The result is a slow motion retreat from the institution that once structured family life, property transfer, and social stability across generations.
The long term consequences remain unclear. Some societies may adapt well to lower marriage rates and higher cohabitation. Others may fracture. What seems certain is that the casual assumption, held just thirty years ago, that most young adults would marry has vanished. The village pub now sits full of unmarried men in their thirties with no fixed plans to change that fact.
Yn in doarpskroech yn lânjittigen Somerset sitten trije manlju fan ein tweintich bier te drinken en oer har freonen te praten. Gjin fan harren is trowd. Gjin fan harren wol gou trouje. "De rekkeninge giet net op," seit de eldste, wiisjend op de huorrekeningen op syn telefoan. Statistiken befestigje syn gefoel. Yn 1990 wie sa'n 70 persint fan 'e Bryske manlju fan 25 oant 34 jier trowd of yn in fêste relaasje. Hjoed de dei stiet dat nûmer op 40 persint en falle nochris. Soartgelikense ynsturten sloppe Dútslân, Nederlân en de Feriene Steaten mei wreed regelmaat.
De redenen klusterje om trije realiteiten. Earst binne wennigkosten eksplodearre wylst leanen stagnearre. In jong doarp yn Londen hat twa ynkumsten nedich om gewoan in fatsoenlik apparteminten te huurren, wêrtroch min enerzjy of middelen oerbleaun foar it engagement fan it troouwferbân. Twad slacht de ekonomyske ûnsekerheid manlju hurder op manieren dy't fan belang binne foar relaasjes. Manlju ferdiene normaal mear as harre ferseken, en as se minder ferdiene of baanynstabiliteit ûnderfine, trekke se harren often folslein tsjin troch ut de troumarkt. In man sûnder finansjele stabiliteit fielen dat hy neat oan te bieden hat. Tsjerd hawwe juridyske en kultuerle krêften de lêst op manlju fersoart. Echtskiidingsrjochters jowwe froulju nochris de foarkar yn fearberje en bermogensdivyzje, en manlju wite dat. De risikokalkulaasje is feroare.
Mar dêr sit mear efter as allinne jild. Jonge manlju rapportearje oarst skeptisisme of it trouwferbân wol wurket. Se hawwe de echtskidingen fan har âlders sjoen, troch de makke rampssinario's op sosjale media skapt, en hawwe it berjocht absorbeare dat it trouwferbân in gok is dy't se wierskynlik ferliest. Online romten hawwe dit skeptisisme fersterke ta in folsleine ideologyë, dêr't guon manlju no iepen vjanteach stean tsjin it idee fan in lange tiidferbân. Dizze kultuerle feroaring telt op syn minst sa folle as ekonomyë. In man dy't 50.000 pûn per jier ferdiene mocht mysfolle nochris trouje as hy leauwe soe dat it trouwferbân wurket. Dat leauwet hy net. Hy bliuwt singelj.
Freoulju hawwe ûndertusken frijheid en finansjele ûnôfhinklikheid krigen dy't it trouwferbân opsjoneel yn stee fan needsaaklik meitsje. Dit is net min. Mar it betsjuttet dat de prikkels harren folslein omkearde hawwe. Froulju hawwe it trouwferbân net mear nedich om te oerlibjen. Manlju fiele hieltyd mear dat se te folle te ferliest hawwe. It resultaat is in langsum tsjinne tsjinne troch ut de ynstelling dy't iens it gezinslibben, bermogensoerdracht en sosjale stabiliteit generaasjes lang struktuearre.
De gefolgen op lange termyn bliuwe ondieldich. Guon samenlevings kinne goed oanpasse oan legere trouwpersintaazjes en mear samenwenning. Oaren kinne brekke. Wat seker sjint, is dat de terloopse oanname, tritich jier lyn nochris fêststeld, dat de measte jongfolweaksenen soenen trouje, is ferdwûn. De doarpskroech sit no fol ungetrouwde manlju yn har trettich mei gjin fêste planen om dêr feroaring yn te bringen.
Published February 19, 2026 · Frisian News · Ljouwert, Fryslân